It’s just the beginning

How do you know if it is love? Some would say it is through words, others would say it is through actions. A few would say they just felt it. But for the lucky
ones, they knew it at first grade.

Fellow Toastmasters, let me tell you a secret. I am in love, with someone I don’t know yet. And I am bringing this love game to a whole new level right at this moment.

Dearest pretty pumpkin,

I am counting the days. Sixteen years of my life has passed and you’re still not here. You must have been tired from constantly running through my head with no breaks. But I can’t help it. I long for you each minute.

I imagine you in the depths of my dreams. Your priceless beautiful smile. Your eyes that promises eternity. Your skin so crystal clear, like some kind of an angel touched it. I wonder if you think of me too and how you see me in your dreams.

I stand here before these people to tell you that I am sorry for the pain and heartbreaks that I caused you. For letting you spend random dining alone, away from the candle-lit dates you always think of. On those stretching and pressing times in school and work, that you want to give up, and that I was not there to provide comfort and care. For allowing you to not enjoy those prom nights you have attended, for I was not there to give you the attention and affection you truly deserve. For letting you wallow alone in deep sorrow over the loss of a pet, a close friend and a family member. For confusing your mind and heart on the entrance of my copycat charmers to your life, only to break you and tear you apart.

I know. I let you weep for my delayed entrance, but honey, we both know it is for the best. That it is not yet the perfect time for us to be together. My love, I am afraid that if we meet this early, when our lives are both half baked and vastly changing, we may have not appreciated our company and ourselves well. That I cannot stomach your going gaga over marionettes, board games and Korean reality shows and flicks. That you on the other hand, may find me uninteresting over a book of poems and proses. For in our current lives, we are immature, spontaneous, reserved, doubtful, and stubborn, and that we are only to mingle in a world that is meant to hurt and destroy us, until nothing is left of us. Stakes are too high.

Yes, the possibility of already seeing you at a coffee shop or a book store is high enough, but I prefer we socialize when we’re truly ready. When I have learned my lessons on trust and commitment. While you has mastered the art of independence and confidence on oneself When we have become our better selves.

For now, let us continue to live our lives, in the best ways we can only think of, treasure the true friendships and dump the fatal and fake, cherish the unguarded moments, learn from the independent choices we have made, cry over heartfelt movies and life changing stories, laugh over silly jokes. Soon enough, we’ll meet (or meet again), when I am the smart, charming, boy next door that tickles your lips at one glance, and took over your heart the next and when you are that eloquent, witty, pretty lass that had me at your first eye’s twinkle.

Soon enough, candle-lit dinner meals are arranged at the place of your choice. Mondays are filled of exchanges over frappucinos and cheese cakes. Wednesdays become home to our renggas and prosaic poems. Fridays feel outdoorsy and playful as we walk on adventures together. Sundays are when we stay at home, cook food and cuddle while having a roller coaster ride on your favorite Korean flicks.

I cannot wait for these to all happen. But ironically, we have to wait. So here’s a promise that never will I grow tired of developing the dashing best in me, that never will I lose hope on us no matter how hopeless the situations can be, that never will I give up on our pursuit to true love and success.

For at the end of the line, I will have you and we have us. So cheers to our bond that at first instance already meant forever.

With all the love that stays,
Your lover from first grade.

Fellow Toastmasters, through this experience, I have realized that love is undefinable. It conforms no standards, it knows no boundaries. I have learned to value myself more and to not make unnecessary compromises. If loving entails waiting, then be it. Maybe we need to love all kinds of love. Maybe love is still the answer. Maybe love can still make this world better. So love.

As soon as my love has a face and a name, I know it is just the beginning.

Toastmaster of the day.

On coping with writer’s block (or the lies we tell ourselves along the way)

The creative excuses I am so damn good at fabricating. 🙂

Black coffee and cigarettes

writing 2

I haven’t written for a very long time.

I joined a creative writing class a while ago to help me through my ‘writer’s block’ – can you call yourself a writer if you don’t write? – and I managed to produce a total of 500 words over the entire four-week course. A paltry amount by any standards, though the course itself was brilliant.

One of the suggestions from my fellow writers was to write about why I don’t write. I’ve been thinking a lot about the reasons I don’t write lately so this seemed as good a place to kick off my writing again as any. And also address why I call myself a writer in the first place – a hard sell in the writing void of the last few months.

In my professional life, I have been a public relations consultant, a journalist and now, an editor. Words…

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Just because someone stumbles and loses his way, doesn’t mean he is lost forever.

I boldly agree with whoever great scriptwriter this line came from. Life is about chances, constant opportunities that are always served, ready to measure our character and how are we going to deal with the consequences packaged in every choice we pick.

In the first place, who are we to know the fate of the once doomed and shattered? We are never gifted with such precious ability to determine one’s end based on acceptable, verifiable and exact circumstances (though at some points we think this we possess).

This could exactly attest why I love (and used to bet for) the underdogs, the judged-to-be-just-average-knowing individuals that are usually overspent, underrated, underestimated and  misunderstood. They are the type that dances without missing a wrong move, sings ahead of tune and stumbles while speaking in front of a crowd. But you know what makes them bankable enough? Knowing that fate isn’t working on their side, they never miss every single opportunity to improve. They grab chances to know their set of skills. They are working too hard the reach their fullest potentials. And believing that nobody dares to put a bet on them but themselves, they master the art of gaining genuine but never excessive confidence within.

And after those stretching and pressing times, the best victory came in the form of a realization, a former wild thought that they have just improved for the better, in so many ways. The improvement so immense, it flowed effortlessly, radiated as an their  obvious asset. Soon they will realize that from being a plain underdog, they become the crowd getter, the most loved contender. They are even set to make history by succeeding beyond expectations.

Another reason why I love them? It is simply because I am one of them.

I was one of the lucky ones who were given a second chance to finish the Accountancy undergraduate studies. I was one of the hopeful ones who were given a shot at commencement exercises despite me failing to reach the required mark. I was one of the grateful ones who again given the chance to take the boards despite me boycotting the mock exams. Then, I rose to become that lucky, hopeful grateful and fulfilled one who hurdled all obstacles for that CPA citation.

Yes, we owe it all to the chances and chance givers who walk with us. If it weren’t for them, we are not able to define who we are and the set of skills we inherited and have acquired.

Taking all else positively, once an underdog always an underdog. And we will continue to have the world linger in its jaw-dropping moments with our inexplicable but living miracle stories. 🙂

P.S. If you will prefer perfection over spontaneity, you will never find something amazing. A few errors should be spared. Haha. 🙂

7 Kinds of People You Meet at Work

After getting your most coveted diploma and be freed from the paperful responsibilities of being a student, truth just slaps you in your face for you to realize that you are long waited at the corporate world, the dreaded real thing! The adjustments will be rapid and deadly, and you being a mere complacent individual would hardly survive.

Gents and gals, despite this harsh reality, I will not play Captain Hook here and further spread multiple negativities. Instead, I will try to ease the burden by introducing you the seven types of people you are set to meet in your journey towards a successful career. Let me start the enumeration in

1. The Know-it-All Guy/Gal
For a budding career endeavor, these people will be of great help. Basically, they can teach you everything about work and most of its people. They have worked long and hard enough that you are even convinced that they deserve more or at least what they have as of the moment. For the record, they can even be the source of the meatiest talks like company politics and the like. Piece of advice for you: Know courtesy and respect. You owe it to them.

2. The Outliers
As the term connotes, you will ask what’s the fault in your fate that you don’t meet, wrong with you star-crossed people that never cross paths. You will soon blame it to the diversity, ethnocity and other elements for letting you settle at opposite ends. You never share anything in common (except that you work on the same place) and it is almost impossible for you to jive. You don’t get them as much as you are to them. Piece of advice for you: Let them be and mind your own. You are not working to gain enemies. And please don’t play friendly Dora/Diego, they will curse you for that.

3. The Wallflowers
You remember the five thousand people gathered for that Himala scene a very long time ago, the next type is their descendants. They are the real time crowd takers. They have lived with that “majority should win” mantra and have neglected to decide on their own. They are used to group surveys and they patiently wait for your response and copy it forward. You will grow tired understanding the way they jump into decisions, be it personal or career wise. They usually lie on popularity votes. Piece of advice for you: Just believe that you will gain something from them; it is to speak up and be firm with your ideals especially if you can stand with your arguments. That for you is an advantage.

4. The user-friendly
Enumerating their tactics can fill up this whole space, but you will surely agree with me that it will be a total waste. They are the kind that will befriend you, get along with you, keep your company and share secrets with you- secrets that are really not so in nature. Believing in all their good deeds, you will share with them all you know about work and life and soon use it to their advantage. If they can no longer get anything from you, they will dump you and leave you behind. Piece of advice for you: Be wary of this kind. They are highly dangerous. Keep your guards up always and if your instinct tells you that your companions fall under this category, dispose them right away. This life isn’t about keeping unfit dirty working machines.

5. The Virtual Companion/s
Almost there, but just close. They are the type that you could connect to for you share many commonalities. You enjoy each other’s company and can talk to a multitude of things – only that you mainly lack face to face interactions. You work under the same department or group but you only catch each other via social networking sites and modern tools of communication like chat and phone calls. Piece of advice for you: You keep them ( I know you want too.) This is a work in process thing and you can either have them placed soon on the 6th or 7th slate of this roster.

6. The Best Buds
You owe a lot to them for doing you the smallest up to the biggest favors. They make you laugh through cracking jokes. They feed you. They listen to your hang ups and tantrums. They can even cry with you at your heart wrenching moments. They make your corporate stay as easy and flawless as it can be. They are the awesomest people you meet at work. Piece of advice for you: Return the favor. Make their each workday with you worthwhile. Who knows, the bond can be forever!

7. The Ultimate Inspiration
Lucky are you to find him/her at your work place. He/she makes your day complete and even brightens it more. He/She can fuel up the resting determination in your heart. He/she uplifts your spirit. His/her dazzle and charm just aids you in achieving your potential. You look up to him/her so bad you enthrone him/her in the core of your deepest fancies. He/she can be just a work inspiration or a future romantic partner, it depends on you and the underlying circumstances. Piece of advice for
you: Keep the faith and positivity. What will be, will be. 🙂

At the end of this journey, you will realize that it no longer matter how good you are in this “taxonomy” thing. You can meet and know them without gaining anything worthwhile or realizing something amazing. What matters most will still be you – the real competition, the soldier of the army, the master of the game – and how long have you gone far or otherwise. This will still boil down to you – either you carve out the monster lurking in the dark or you bring out the majestic mover who turns everything in tiptop shape. So for the final piece of advice: keep your core. Meeting and working with these people will be a redefining moment for you- who you are and who you are going to be. Never budge. You are set to make wonders, kid!



Invisible – (Free Verse Poem)

As the blossom scented candles
shed light to this once-empty space.
Allow me to defy this pulsating force bridging between the two of us.

For the last time,
let me draw eternity out
of the coffee drops we shared
on the once dainty table.

After all, everything will be
as dull as our greyish old portrait.
For no longer will the stars cast its
blissful rays on this gloomy Monday eve.

You’re just three steps away,
still I can’t see you.

You know what’s mushy? – The prologue of the awesomest things

This world is but a haven full of mushy things.

Agreeably, the greatest mushy thing I have known and one could ever experience in this lifetime is to know what really is that “l”thing, the very essence why we came out to this world – love.

It has been that indispensable phenomenon that once hit you, it will never leave you breathing at your own. It consumes your entirety, cuts deep and even devours every bit until nothing is left of you. Sounds scary? Most of the time it is.

But love will remain to be the true universal language, that for every unsuccessful story, you would have that lingering faith that stays; hoping for a better tale to come. Despite the sorrow, fury and a bunch of heart wrenching moments, you keep believing that you are only inching closer to the end you always wish.

To the former love of my life, to the special person who once tried to save the last dance for me and to you who first introduced me to this exciting “you and space” convo, I am back – maybe  to redeem you (or not) and to continue growing this fruit we once shared. No more intergalactic hindrances, yet purely business now. Here’s a virtual hug, hoping to rub elbows with you in space and in reality again.

But you know what really is mushy? It is going down to your dauntless cafeteria, taking in your daily dose of salty and acidic refreshers (those were the only flavors that register) for the ulterior motive of snatching a look (and hopefully a smile) to that irresistible charmer you only knew by name. It may sound hilarious and stupid, but for a newly groomed man, who is always a premier target of elusive love propos and never been this serious in love, that in itself qualifies as an expression.